This Never Happened to Superman
by Jason Thompson
Summary: Peter's having Girl Trouble


This Never Happened to Superman  
  
A Spider-man Fan-fiction Story  
  
Author: Jason   
  
July 24, 2004  
  
Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a guy he wrote a story with characters and settings he didn't own, but he put a disclaimer on his story and that made it a little less illegal. Spider-Man was created by Stan Lee and Marvel Comics. Sony Pictures owns some rights too.   
  
Category: Spidey/Black Cat with Peter/Mary Jane  
  
Spoilers: Some minors here and there.  
  
Warnings:   
  
Summary: Peter's suffering from girl trouble, ye-ah suffering, right.   
  
Rating: Rated R (Light)  
  
Distribution: Ask First.   
  
Notes:   
  
Dedication: Dedicated to the usual suspects; Genova aka Schweet, Bri, Mary, Duchess, Dale, Blaire, Stone Cold, Ice Wing, Arashi, Aslan, Vega, Tony D, Jen Zimmer, Louise, Sairs, and Queen Angel who have allowed me to bounce my ideas off them, and Krac, cause she has the evil bunny slippers.  
  
This Never Happened to Superman  
  
One of the few things that hadn't changed in Peter Parker's life after that fateful spider bite was how he spent his Saturday nights. Dateless. The only difference with this Saturday and countless others before he became Spider-Man was that he was perched on the roof of the Fox News Channel building with a Batman comic book in hand.  
  
The wallcrawler sighed as he thumbed through the magazine and deflated a little. He then addressed the world at large, "Batman gets the girl, Superman gets the girl, and even the Flash in his red tights gets more girls then me." With a bigger sigh he cast the book aside before propping his chin on his right fist, "Maybe it's the mask." He ran his hand over his covered jaw thoughtfully, "Maybe I should cut a hole in my mask, expose the jaw."  
  
His latest bout of brooding was brought about by the same redhead that most of his higher intensity pouting sessions focused on. Mary-Jane Watson. He'd stopped by her apartment this morning and knocked on the door. He'd come to the decision the night before to tell her he was Spider-Man and profess his love to her.  
  
When the door opened and a guy was on the other side, Peter could actually feel his heart breaking. He'd held out hope for a brief moment that he was the boyfriend of her roommate, but "John" quickly stomped on that pipedream. He didn't talk to MJ, he'd merely told her boyfriend to tell her he'd stopped by.  
  
He spent the rest of the day crisscrossing Manhattan. Spider-Man got a lot of work in; he stopped four muggings, a bank robbery, two hold-ups and even had a good PR moment when he pulled a frightened cat out of a tree for a little girl. As a reward, the girl's big brother gave the web-slinger his copy of Batman's latest issue.  
  
Peter got to his feet, picked up the comic along the way and tucked it in the back of his tights. He took off in a sprint and dove off the building, firing a web line from his left hand. The strand caught and he began swinging in the general direction of the Financial District.  
  
His eyes scanned the city below as he flew overhead, a part of him hoped that he'd find some heads to smash together, an even smaller part of him hoped to find "John" stealing a TV and pound on him. Despite being twenty stories up he still spoke to the world under his breath in a mocking voice, "'I'm John. You must be that Perry Parker Mary Jane was telling me about.' I bet the guy's a bed-wetter, or at the very least a thumb sucker." He wasn't jealous of Mary Jane's new beau, not even a little bit.  
  
He launched himself upward and did a flip in the air before free falling for a moment. Just as he was about to fire off a new line he felt his spider-sense go off and he noticed a shadow on the roof of a nearby Jewelry shop. He changed directions and approached the shadow. As he swooped overhead he noticed a breeze catch hold of shoulder length nearly-white hair. The figure was crouched over a skylight; they were trying to gain entry. He closed in on the clearly female form, a very lovely female form from what he could tell.   
  
What happened next would stay etched in Peter Parker's brain for all time. He fired a webline which caught a near-by flagpole and began to swing in to stop this vixen. She tensed slightly and turned her head, white hair whipping around as though she were a supermodel at a photo shoot. She smirked up at him and threw him a wink, that's when the moment truly became memorable.   
  
He felt a jerk on the webline and his spider-sense went ballistic. He looked up and noticed the flagpole had come loose. He tumbled through the night wildly and completely devoid of his usual grace before smashing face first into the gravel covered rooftop.   
  
He pushed himself up to his knees only to slump dizzily, the roof was pitching back and forth wildly and she must have tripped an alarm because there was a high pitched ringing. After a moment, he realized that he had struck the roof at just over forty miles per hour and was probably concussed.  
  
His second attempt to move was more successful and he managed to roll over onto his back. He caught movement again and noticed the prowler standing over him with the flag he'd brought with him in her hand. She casually folded the flag up and kneeled down next to him, "That's no way to treat Old Glory, scooter."  
  
He got a good look at the prowler. Her startling green eyes were made even more so by the platinum blonde hair and the black mask over her eyes. She was dressed in skin-tight black leather complete with black gloves and boots. The neckline of her cat-suit was lined with white fur and plunged temptingly low, only one thing came to his mind. "That's an awful lot of cleavage." When she smirked down at him, he quickly tried to amend himself; "Umm… I mean."  
  
She stretched and sat down on the roof then leaned on his stomach casually, "You're a charmer."  
  
He fell back, still trying to settle the spinning sensation he felt, "Who are you?"  
  
He lifted his head to watch her when he felt her fingers lightly dancing over his chest. He watched her trace vague patterns on him. She pouted up at him, "And spoil the mystery? That's no fun."  
  
His enhanced DNA had other benefits besides being able to bench press a bus and stick to the ceiling; he was a lightning fast healer. The ringing in his ears died away and he felt his equilibrium returning quickly. "Well, I found you breaking in here."  
  
She grinned, "So, I guess that makes me a little naughty then." She pressed her hand into his chest, "Naughty might be just the kind of fun you need, Web-head."  
  
He frowned under his mask, "How about I take you over to the police station? We'll see how fun that is."  
  
Her wicked smile was disarming, it had left Peter stunned as she fluidly rose to her feet and stretched her arms over her head. She winked at him and said, "I'll tell you what kiddo, you catch me and I'll tell you my name. Maybe I'll even let you spank me like a naughty little girl."  
  
He sat up slowly, "Catch-" She cut him off by leaping off the roof. "Hey!" He leapt to his feet and watched as she began to swing off on cables. He growled, it wasn't her trying to escape that was bothering him. It was the mode of escape; she was trying to show him up. It was an assault on his ego, and he was a man. "Fine," He released a webline and leapt off the roof. "You want me to chase you, I'll chase you."  
  
While pursuing her, he took notice of her grace and agility. She must have been an accomplished gymnast, or maybe a dancer. He'd begun to believe most of his grace flowed from his senses being so finely tuned that he anticipated more then reacted. By contrast, her actions were reactionary. He noticed that as they approached the taller buildings of Midtown that she was leading them upwards.   
  
They approached the upper floors of the Empire State Building and he could almost reach out and grab her. He launched himself off his webline to do just that when she surprised him. Ninety stories above the Manhattan streets, the light haired woman spun and launched herself at him. They collided in a tangle of limbs as gravity robbed them of his upward momentum only to begin to drag them back to earth.  
  
He looked into this woman's face and found her grinning at him cockily. He went to launch a line to save them but she grabbed his wrists, she winked then said. "Not yet." She wrapped her body around him and maneuvered so that the pair faced the ground as it raced up to meet them.  
  
The air was beginning to roar in his ears, he had to yell just to make sure she heard him "Don't you think-"  
  
"That's your problem, you think too much." She yelled back, "This is emotion, it's exciting!"  
  
He felt a smirk forming under his mask as he noticed two testaments to her excitement, "Well, I can tell that you're excited."  
  
She raised an eyebrow at him, "Perv!" She punctuated her admonishment by grabbing two handfuls of his backside.   
  
He felt his spider-sense going crazy again and he knew if he didn't do something soon, they'd be two smears on the sidewalk, "As much as I'm enjoying this…" He pulled his right hand free and fired off a line. She reacted quickly by wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs tightly around his hips.  
  
They were going so fast that the first two weblines he fired off actually snapped from their momentum, Peter was quickly firing off new lines, eventually the pair catapulted upwards. He fired off another line which shot them towards a nearby office building's roof. They were still moving too fast for his tastes. Suddenly he felt lighter, his passenger had jumped ship. He saw her perched on the ledge before he smashed into a roof for the second time that night.  
  
This time he bounced into the air tumbling wildly before launching another web. This one latched onto the roof itself which caused him to slingshot into and through a skylight.  
  
He landed hard on a desk which was crushed under his weight and the force he had gathered. He groaned and pulled something out from under him. He inspected the mangled nameplate and sighed, "Sorry about this Mr. 'Bill Barber' but I'm having a bad night." He threw it aside and pushed himself up onto shaky legs. He jumped up and easily cleared the shattered skylight. He landed in a sloppy manner for him and took a stumbling step to keep from planting his face on the roof.  
  
He was surprised by the sure hands that steadied him. "Easy." He was turned slowly and came face to face with his tormentor for the evening. She graced him with that cocky grin that he was starting to take offense to. "I bet under that mask, those eyes of yours are pretty glassy." Her grin softened subtly and he felt her hands rubbing his forearms in a comforting fashion. "You okay?"  
  
"Depends…"  
  
"On?"  
  
"On which one of the three of you asked that." She laughed and led them over to the ledge she had landed on earlier. He slumped to the roof and leaned back against the ledge, he looked up to see her perched on the ledge in a rather casual fashion a few feet away. "What's all this about? This wasn't some chance meeting; I think you drew me in."  
  
She tilted her head at him, "You think I drew you in to kill you by plowing into roofs from ninety stories up?" She laughed silkily, "Paranoia is not sexy. I'm just out to get that stick out of your butt, loosen you up."  
  
He frowned under his mask, "Listen lady, this isn't some game! I'm out here trying to protect people…"  
  
She shook her head and held up the comic book he'd forgotten about, "No you aren't, you're out here trying to be some comic book hero." Her playful attitude had only faltered for a moment and quickly returned to her eyes, "You're what twenty-two? Twenty-five?"  
  
He shrugged, "Nineteen."  
  
She slid her feet off the ledge and observed him for a moment, "Nineteen, if we were normal, we'd probably be out at a party right now getting drunk, while I had to endure your cheesy come-on lines in the feeble hope that you could charm me out of my pants." She slid off the ledge onto her hands and knees and crawled towards him seductively, "You aren't normal. You're so far from normal it's not even funny."  
  
His blood fought over which direction to travel and his eyebrows had tried to leap clear up his forehead. Peter Parker was understandably flustered; he was a former High School science nerd for Christ's sake! He wasn't supposed to have busty blonds in black leather seducing him! "My… p-p-powers don't-"  
  
She reached him and pressed a finger to his lips while shushing him gently, "Your powers aren't what make you special." Her fingers nimbly maneuvered under the edges of his mask. "What makes you special, is that your hopes of getting me out of my pants are very," She inched his mask up until his mouth was exposed then she started to inch towards his lips slowly as she whispered, "Very strong."  
  
Just before she could kiss him he managed to stutter out, "You were going to tell me your name…"  
  
"Black Cat, now shut up." Suddenly her lips were on his and her tongue traced his lips demandingly. His pain and earlier angst were completely forgotten as his arms wrapped around her tightly. He swallowed her moan as his lips parted, allowing her in.   
  
A stray thought occurred to him as they rolled around on a roof while she ground her thigh into little-Spidey; three hours ago Peter was helping a cat out of a tree and telling a little girl to eat her vegetables and now he was in the midst of a ten story high make out session with a not so little girl named Black Cat. It was almost as absurd as it was obscene. That was the last rational thought he'd have for the next few minutes because of the wanton moan that rolled off her lips when his hand found her left breast.  
  
She suddenly pushed away and he was in awe of her kiss-swollen lips and heaving chest. She was panting and the smile on her face was redefining wicked, "This is a good start, but I am not having sex on top of a Midtown office building."  
  
It took a long time for his mind to restart because of blood supply issues, "W-" He had to cough to clear the husky tone from his voice, "What do you suggest then?"  
  
Her raised eyebrow was priceless, "Well, how about you chase me back to my place and give me that spanking you owe me?" She rose to her feet with the grace of her namesake.  
  
He cleared the cobwebs out of his head enough to smirk up at her, "Two questions, how long have you been planning this?"  
  
She winked down at him, "A couple of days now. I watched you bust up that art gallery robbery last week and just fell in love with your butt in those tights." She extended a hand and helped him to his feet, the whole while smirking at the tented tights he was sporting. He cleared his throat and she looked up at his face again, "What's the second question?"  
  
"I usually know way ahead of time if something will hold my weight, how did you do the flagpole?"  
  
She laughed, "Don't you know that it's bad luck to cross paths with a black cat?" She took a step forward and pressed against him. She nearly purred when his hands instinctually found her hips.  
  
"Well I was having a bad night for a while there." She kissed him hungrily again for a moment, but before Peter could really begin to get into it she pulled back and replaced his mask. "I have to swing by the deli two blocks over and grab my backpack."  
  
She nodded then backed up to the edge of the roof. She stepped up on the ledge and locked eyes with him before stepping backwards off the ledge. She reemerged in his vision swinging away and he smiled at the discarded comic book. Picking it up, he spoke to himself; "Well, you've got to respect a woman with confidence." For the second time that night, he took off in pursuit of Black Cat.

####  
  
After grabbing his bag, Black Cat had led him on a winding, high-speed chase over around and between the buildings of New York. When they'd finally arrived outside her window, he was only vaguely aware of them being in Soho. He was perched on the ledge of a small balcony while she opened her window and stepped through. She turned to him and slowly, seductively removed her gloves.   
  
She extended her finger and beckoned him forward. At that moment, Peter Parker was simply not strong enough to resist anything she asked. He crawled along the banister and perched on her windowsill. When she smiled at him lazily, he finally knew what she must have known since that flagpole came loose, she owned him. She peeled her small mask away and cast it aside then reached out to him and removed his.  
  
Blue eyes locked on green in the darkness and Peter could feel every inch of his body becoming hyper-aware of every inch of her. The sound of her fingers sliding along the leather of her outfit as she sought her zipper was deafening. She found the zipper and toyed with it, the tiny clink it made was as loud as a gunshot in his ears.   
  
She pulled it down slightly, exposing more of her flesh which only caused Peter's mouth to dry out. The fabric of his costume was suddenly offensive to his skin and he wanted nothing more then to tear it away.  
  
She took the few steps needed to be directly in front of him and gently reached out to caress his cheek. They had moved with lightning speed earlier and she chose this moment to slow things to a crawl. It only served to prove to Peter how much control she actually had over him.  
  
She pulled her hand back and took his hands left hand in hers. She pulled him into her room and nuzzled his cheek for a moment; his backpack slipped off his free arm and dropped to the floor, already forgotten. She reached his ear and closed her lips and teeth around the lobe; he heard a low growl roll in the back of her throat. She picked up his right hand and slowly removed his glove then pressed her lips against his palm before repeating the treatment on his left hand.  
  
She continued her torture, sliding her fingers slowly up his arms. Finally she gripped the collar of his costume and yanked him down to her. She kissed him hungrily, reigniting their earlier passion.  
  
He gripped her hips and returned the kiss. They stumbled away from the window and crashed onto the bed, she quickly rolled them over so that she was on top. She pulled away and looked down at him with eyes that were humor free for the first time. She grasped his hand and led it to her zipper; he gripped it and led it further down. As it reached her navel she pulled his hand away and placed it on the exposed flesh of her stomach before diving down to claim his lips almost desperately.   
  
Her skin nearly burned his hand and he could feel her pulse in his fingertips. He felt her fingers searching his waste for a way in until finally her fingertips found him. A shock shot up his spine and he arched up to meet her questing fingers.  
  
After a moment, she gripped the hem of his shirt and began to awkwardly yank it up. With a will power that rivaled that of God Himself, Peter pulled back. "Wait!"  
  
She looked at him like he was out of his mind, which he wagered was true just then. "This hard to get stuff isn't what I brought you back here for." She reached up and pushed the leather away from her shoulders, exposing Peter to ample evidence of her intentions. "C'mon, it's play time."  
  
He took a deep breath, bombarding him with her scent. It was causing his will to ebb so he had to speak quickly. "I can't do this without knowing who you are… It wouldn't be right… Please, you have to underst-"  
  
Her laugh wasn't as silky as it had been earlier, it was roughened by lust and her deep breathing was causing him an awful lot of pain, after all, spandex caught in odd places. She looked down into his eyes and seemed to pause at the sincerity in his features. She smiled down at him, "If I didn't know better, I'd say I was about to pull your V-card." He must have blushed when he looked down because suddenly her fingers were under his chin. She brought his face up to meet hers again, "Is it your first time?" He nodded, "Really?" Again he nodded.  
  
Silence claimed them; he felt shame burning through him. She'd been seducing him the whole night, and when she was in reach of her goals he threw ice water on her with his own hang ups. She ran her fingers over his cheek; he looked up to see a reassuring look in her eyes.  
  
Finally she whispered, "Hey, it's okay. My name is Felicia."  
  
He nodded, "Peter." Her lips descended upon his once again, any conversations between them were officially over.

####  
  
Mary Jane Watson had a rough night last night. She'd not only had to deal with an idiot costume director during her play rehearsal and a leading man who could not learn his lines but apparently her roommate, Felicia, had found a friend and the pair had tried to bring the building down on top of them.  
  
She'd moved out of her old apartment two months ago, after the Goblin had blasted a hole in the wall, she saw no reason to stay. Plus Soho was a hell of a lot closer to the theater district then her old place. She found she couldn't afford a place on her own so she'd found an apartment with a roommate. That roommate was Felicia Hardy.  
  
To put it mildly, the blonde was amorous. She didn't seem to have a steady boyfriend because MJ had seen five or six different men sitting in the kitchen when she'd come out on mornings like this one. Hell, on a couple of occasions a woman would come stumbling out of Felicia's bedroom the next morning.   
  
Suffice to say, the sounds of wild sex were nothing new to Mary Jane now. But that didn't mean they couldn't keep her from sleep. She started the coffee maker and stepped out of the apartment, then took the elevator down to the lobby. She walked out front and purchased a copy of the Daily Bugle from the machine by her door before returning to her apartment. She had worked out this routine so that she'd arrive just in time to take the first cup of fresh coffee the machine had to offer.  
  
Her timing was perfect and after preparing her morning dose of caffeine, she found a seat at the kitchen table. She opened the paper and frowned at the headline; "Spider-Man and Mystery Partner Tear Up Midtown Office!"  
  
She sighed at the Bugle's slanted reporting of an encounter between the wall-crawler and a mysterious opponent. The only thing witnesses could tell for sure was that the second person was female. She had to wonder just then, what this woman had done to her masked friend. She hoped he wasn't hurt.   
  
She looked up with mild interest when Felicia's door opened. The blonde stepped out of the room with a pair of blue jeans and a form-fitting black T-shirt. She smiled at the redhead as she crossed the room to the coffeepot. She retrieved a cup from the cupboard and poured herself a cup. She sat down across from MJ, cradling her mug in both hands. She took her first sip before a decadent smile graced her features, "God Bless Columbia."  
  
The aspiring actress smiled, "I hear ya." She looked towards the room almost expectantly, "So, is your friend going to join us?"  
  
Felicia leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee, "He's in the shower." She took another sip and looked back towards her door. "MJ, I think I might be in love with this one."  
  
The redhead's eyebrows arched, now she had heard everything. "Really, so you mean to tell me that the wild seductress Felicia Hardy has been struck by Cupid's Arrow?"  
  
The blonde laughed before leaning forward in a conspiratorial fashion, "He's adorable MJ, so sweet and 'aw shucks Ma'am.' He's a real corn-fed Captain Middle America." She looked over her shoulder to make sure this mystery man wasn't coming out before she continued, "In fact, last night was his first time with a woman." She laughed, "Can you believe it? An actual virgin in New York City over the age of fourteen, and I find him!" She smiled down into her cup in a bashful fashion, "He really made me feel special, I could get used to this feeling Mary Jane."  
  
Her mystery man chose that moment to exit Felicia's room. He was fully dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans a towel covered his head; he dropped a backpack by the front door and continued to towel his hair. When he spoke, MJ nearly fumbled her coffee cup because even with a towel obscuring his face, she could recognize Peter Parker's voice. "Felicia, may I have a cup of coffee?"  
  
Felicia stood up and poured him a cup. She offered it to him as he arrived in the kitchen. As he reached out for the mug, she pulled the mug away, "First things first." He smiled and pushed the towel off his head onto his shoulders and Mary Jane had to stifle a gasp as Peter kissed Felicia right in front of her.  
  
The blonde pulled away and handed him his coffee. He turned toward the table and his cup froze just out of reach of his mouth. The world ground to a halt for her as she locked eyes with Peter.  
  
Felicia quickly noticed the tension between the pair and raised an eyebrow, "Is something wrong?"  
  
MJ nodded absent mindedly before she stuttered out, "Peter and I…"  
  
Peter nodded and waved his free hand in confusion, "We-uh…"  
  
The blonde quickly caught on, and couldn't help the morbid grin that stretched across her lips. She turned to her roommate, "So this is the famous Peter Parker?" After a moment of shared silence between the trio, she rose to her feet and took Peter's hand to lead him out front. He grabbed his backpack along the way and the pair stepped out of the door.  
  
Once she was alone, MJ buried her face in her hands. "Great, just great."

####  
  
Once they were outside, Felicia felt her bravado begin to falter. If half of the things Mary Jane and her friend Harry had said about Peter were true… Leave it to her luck to fall for her roommate's would-be soulmate. She smiled shakily at him, "Hey, I know that you and her have-"   
  
She was silenced by his lips on her, when he pulled away he smiled down at her. "She's got a boyfriend, besides it wouldn't work out between MJ and I, but I think you and I could; if you get a little more serious," His smile turned wicked as he winked at her, "Perv."  
  
She felt her own wicked smile form. She stepped forward and took hold of the towel around his neck, "Only if you pull that stick out of your butt." She pulled him down and kissed him hungrily.  
  
She pulled away and leaned into his ear, "Besides, this naughty kitty still needs a spanking." She let go of the towel with one hand and pushed him away playfully.  
  
He swooped back in and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I have to swing by the Bugle and drop off a roll of film. I'll call you later."  
  
She snapped the towel into his stomach, "You'd better." With a wave, he disappeared down the hallway. She turned back to the door and regarded it silently for a moment before sighing. "Well, at least it won't be awkward." She opened the door and went to face her fate.  
  
--End--


End file.
